Jerry, you need to find god
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Randomize
