would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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