She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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