Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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