Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
