so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
