i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
