Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I got her a Nickelback box set.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Randomize
