Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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