that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
