Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
