i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Randomize
