I wanna bring you to show and tell
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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