party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
