sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
My vagina is officially offended.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
