Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
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