Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
