Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize
