it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
