So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
NoShamevember. You game?
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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