john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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