you turned your livingroom into a bong?
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
She's the barista slut.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
