i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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