her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
