i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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