I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
