"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
