I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
My vagina is very pro this idea
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
