i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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