They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
How does it feel to date your dad?
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
