Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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