Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
i think i have herpe
just one?
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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