He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Randomize
