Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Randomize
