new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
