I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
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