We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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