none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
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