I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
