it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Randomize
