So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
