She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
