What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
that's an acceptable place to lick
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
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