Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
