kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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