I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
