That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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