My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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