At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
ok first of all what the fuck
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
