Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
no, he came in my armpit
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
